Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
