so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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