No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
