Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize