I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
