Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
a search helicopter?!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
