DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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