Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
