I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
