the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize