I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Four minutes until I can fart!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
