Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
