Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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