My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
