Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
