I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
