This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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