i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
