so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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