Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You ruined the universe
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
