just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do vagina's smell?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
