That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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