we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
