Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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