WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
