Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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