i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize