He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize