Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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