My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
