Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
