i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
