Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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