the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
