This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
