It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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