i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
