She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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