No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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