dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
