I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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