So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
