how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
