I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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