Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
