I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
