Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
