the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I pour the whiskey from now on
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
