do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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