butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
