a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
