Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
