This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I will pee on everything he values.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize