I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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