I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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