He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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