last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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