Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Sober January is a disaster.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
